E.S.T. Adam hangs with the office crowd on their hunt for that afternoon snack. Luckily they found the Snackcident Prevention Van! More folks saved....
June 30th, 9:11pm. ESTs pulled over this offender as he was seen pulling into a Donut Depot. Because of the severity of the crime he was forced to perform 40 hours of LesserEvil snacking service.
June 16th, 1:10pm. This snackcident could have been prevented if the perpetrators could see what they were buying. However, our ESTs helped them regain their senses, and they are now capable of making better snacking decisions.
June 2nd, 12:40pm, LA . This snackcident was prevented just in the nick of time. As these ladies were about to indulge and enjoy their grease filled “lunch”, LesserEvil came to their rescue. With the smiles on their faces they should change California to the Sunshine State.
We stormed the Whole Foods in Glendale last Friday! Who would have thunk that Whole Foods patrons commit snackcidents. You'd be surprised at who we saved.
Check out what someone wrote into us right after the visit:
"I was shopping in Whole Foods today in Glendale, California and saw a little table with free samples of your Kettle Corn. I am a kettle-corn-o-holic but don't eat it often because it's made with total junk (usually).
Violation #463.225 - Student at San Jose State University makes a beeline for the convenience store across the street. EST Julie serves him a violation and pleads with him to STOP BAD SNACKING!
The East Coast Snackcident Prevention Team lives and breathes New York. We call the great city of New York home… we’re deployed there on a regular basis and have done countless tours of duty in Manhattan, Queens and the Bronx. “Why?” you ask. Where else can you find two million hungry people in one square block? That’s why.
This time around, we’re in SoHo, doing our duty, and you would NOT believe the snackcident problem down there. If you’ve seen us on the street, you know how determined we are to prevent a snackcident and counter with a less evil snack. We stationed the Snackcident Van at Broadway and Prince and needed not go further to work our magic. Right away, a man with a bag of munchies in hand (and mouth) rounded the corner on Prince and headed towards me. I immediately cited him and traded his one snack for five of mine. Mission accomplished. Similar thing happened when I busted two ladies with some fatty ice cream snacks. They were ready and willing to trade once they realized I had taken them down.
But I’ll tell you - it doesn’t always work that way. About an hour later, two young children crossed Broadway and headed towards me with their parents in tow. And what snackcident were they eating? Chocolate cream-filled eggs. I leaned down to issue a violation and they accepted with glee. I then proceeded to coax them into trading a slew of my snacks for their two little eggs. Their parents chuckled. They stared. I begged. You know what happened next? They laughed at me and proceeded to devour those eggs right in front of my face! Now that’s bold. Nonetheless, I cited their parents. They happily took the punishment and agreed to protect their children from future snackcidents. Now that’s prevention at it’s finest.
Copley Square, Harvard Square, Cambridge, Fenway Park, Boston University, JFK Presidential Library, Boston College, Boston Common, Paul Revere’s House… you name the place, we were there issuing violations and preventing snackcidents. Speaking of Revere, have any of you heard the rumors that our good messenger Paul was eating some taffy on his way into town. Can you believe that? We can. Snackcidents happened back in the day of manly wigs and stockings.
Well, our buddy Revere must have spread his snackcident problem through Boston on his ride through town because they’re a major problem here. We had some major work to do so immediately went to the hotspots where herds of hungry people gather. Our first stop: Boston U. Train station. It was a cold, rainy day. Dark skies and wet grounds. (This sounds like a novel, huh?) Students were everywhere, crowding around the train station, waiting patiently for the next train to arrive. Full trains were coming and going, unable to fit more passengers. The Snackcident Prevention Van just so happened find these poor souls at the station (check out pic below), and immediately we deployed from the van and commenced the battle. You see, there weren’t too many snackcidents occurring right then and there, BUT they were on these commuters’ minds. The waiting, waiting, hunger, hunger, waiting, waiting, then finally arriving at home, ready to devour anything and everything in site. The Snackcident Team sensed the trouble and issued snacks and what we call “pre-violations”. We knew snackcidents were awaiting these folks at home, but we just didn’t have time to go to everyone’s home. And plus, we may have been intruding. For those people we can’t reach in those situations, you can always head to The Snackcident Files. So if you’re reading, Save a Friend. You were once saved, why not do the same…
Yes, that's right, we were in Anaheim, California… home to the world's original Disneyland. Interesting fact: Anaheim is also home to the nation's largest natural foods tradeshow - the ExpoWest Natural Foods show at the Anaheim Convention. If you knew that, well, you're a true snacker. You should get an award. Maybe we can send you a snack. Hey, submit Snackcident Evidence in April and we will. I digress…
The Snackcident Prevention Team was in Anaheim in full force. Now, you may be thinking, "Snackcidents don't occur at a Natural Food show, you dummies. You should have been patrolling Disneyland." Maybe you're right about Disneyland, but oh contraire about the snackcidents at the natural food show, my friend. You would be shocked at the number of Snackcident Violations we issued in and around the show. We had our work cut out for us.
People flocked from all over the country… heck, all over the world to attend this show. Our East Coast E.S.T.s traveled cross-country from New York to meet up with our West Coast Technicians.
Our Honest Tea friends came all the way from Maryland to partner up and prevent snackcidents with us.
And Elvis came from the grave. That's right - ELVIS LIVES! He was there, Peanut Butter and Banana Snackcident in hand (our Snackcident Sergeant hails from Memphis and had to prove to his hometowners that he's alive - see Elvis Evidence below). Bo Jackson was spotted. We hear Bo knows snacks.
And of course, our Head Snackmaster was there. With Limited Edition LesserEvil stickers in hand. He felt that the snackcidents were getting out-of-hand and had to bring out the stickers. It worked. They came. They took. They stuck. If you happened to be one of the lucky few who got a sticker, stick them where others can see. Because remember, you too can prevent snackcidents
The Snackcident Prevention Team just made its way through Vegas. That's right… Vegas. What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas, right? Not here, my friend. We tell all. And boy, were there some stories to tell…
Upon arrival in the Snackcident Prevention Van (check out our Head Snackmaster Tom cruisin in), we were welcomed with great fanfare. We started the van at the bottom of The Strip and made our way up, issuing violation after violation. It got to the point where Jason, one of our original E.S.T.s, had to do a "Teen Wolf" on top of the Emergency Snackcident Van and toss snacks to the begging crowds. Check him out in that picture. We give him props for his snackcident dedication. Please, don't try that at home.
While we're throwing out props here, we'll give the snackcident victims of Vegas credit here: it sure is tough to snack well on that Strip. The snackcident opportunities are limitless for guests of this town - hot dog stands, stores full of candy bars, casinos with endless amounts of snackcident-filled stores. Every block you traverse, you probably pass 32 potential snackcidents. It's a tough place for us conscious snackers.
A few victims even talked to us about their snackcident addictions and how they're overrun with guilt and tension. These snackers told us that they constantly dream and think of cupcakes and fatty chips and jelly-filled donuts. Who doesn't every now-and-then? We'll be the first to admit: it's hard to shake these dreams, much less those thoughts come 3 p.m. during the workday or at 2 a.m. when you can't sleep. Obviously, the Snackcident Prevention Team can't be with you 24/7 like we would want to.
But now there's a solution for this: starting today you can join us and your fellow snackers on The Snackcident Files. Join us from anywhere at anytime. Albeit virtual, we're here for you. Here to save you from your addictions. Your Snackcident Addictions.
